Stranded on Striterax written by author's friend
by Dalia Inscription
Summary: Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent narrowly escape the Vogons once again, transported to an strange world. There, they team up with some very unlikely allies to try and escape the alien danger that threatens them.


Hiii, it's me rachie6252! I'm posting this for my friend who's too lazy to make an account… Anyways, he just wants to know what you guys think so please review!

Disclaimer: he does not own the books listed below. DUH

This story uses characters from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chronicles of Ancient Darkness, Avatar the Last Airbender, and Artemis Fowl Series'.

It takes place after Mostly Harmless, Outcast, the final episode, and the Atlantis Complex, respectively.

Stranded on Striterax-Chapter 1

Ford Prefect was both excited and relieved to find that he had not, as he had presumed, been obliterated by the Vogons. He was relieved for all the obvious reasons, and excited because the last time he had given himself up for dead he had actually received an excellent meal and ingested large amounts of alcohol.

The man from somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse looked around. Unsurprisingly, fate had deemed Arthur Dent to accompany him. It had certainly done so before. Why stop now, just when they were in the new, exciting, and probably dangerous land of-Where exactly were they? The land was the kind of gray green red color that can only be achieved by a large amount of loss of life in the immediate vicinity. Ford shook his head, suddenly nervous. A hand tapped him on the shoulder.

Ford turned around, and for the eleventh time in his life, blinked.

There was a small boy behind him, maybe thirteen years old. He was wearing a kind of yellow and orange robe-like garment that reminded Ford of an ex-Pralite monk he had once met, except for the fact that the colors were completely the wrong wavelength.

"Hi," the owner of the hand said. Ford followed the blue tattooed arrows on the boy's hand all the way up to his shoulder, and unable to look at the back of the child's neck, was forced to look at his face.

"I'm Aang," it continued cheerfully. "What's your name?"

"Ford Prefect," Ford said slowly.

"Well, that's a weird name," Aang said, laughing. "Why is your friend crying?" He was referring to the fact that Arthur had come to and was silently weeping to himself.

"Probably just a general world, or should I say, lack of world, or even better, Universe weariness, taking its toll on him," Ford said. The actual reason Arthur was crying was because he had finally thought it all to be over, that he would finally be in a place where he could get tea when he wanted to, and no one would be able to attempt any more harm to him. At least not much, he hoped.

"Are you in trouble?" Aang asked. "I can't imagine any other reason why I would have been sent here, to you guys."

"Trouble?" Arthur asked, having finally decided to stop moaning. "Not so much, as of yet, but I don't imagine that our situation will improve, in fact I dare say that, judging by my past experiences, it will steadily decline..." He would have continued, had Ford not decided to interrupt.

"What do you mean, you were sent to us?"

"Well, as I'm guessing you don't know, I'm the Avatar." Aang said proudly and casually, trying to pass it off lightly and only slightly failing. Ford looked expectantly at the ground slightly in front of him and to the left, hoping that a dictionary would appear, which it didn't.

"What's that?" He asked.

For the next time in a number far too great to comprehend, Aang blinked.

"It's, it's, I can control all the elements, which no one else can do..." He said, confused. He'd never had to explain before.

"Ah," Ford said. "So you're a god."

"No, I'm the bridge between this world and the spirit world-"

"The spirit world! I don't think I've been there. Do they have parties?"

"Um, I don't think so..."

"Then that is probably the reason. So you can control elements?"

"Um, yeah, you know, earth, water, fire, air, those." To illustrate his point, Aang created a small breeze.

"What about the other twenty-seven?" Ford asked.

Aang almost collapsed right there, out of sheer shock, but it was fortunate that he didn't, because an arrow appeared, rather unexpectedly, right in the spot his subconscious mind had almost decided to collapse on. A boy and a girl of about fourteen came running. The boy had long black hair, and was carrying an axe and a bow. Ford looked at him and thought that he had the eyes of an Arcturan Megawolf, which situated in any other body is an unsettling sight. The girl had long brown-red hair, and was similarly armed. She notched a new arrow into her bow and pointed it at Aang, Ford and Arthur, in that order.

Tears settled in Arthur's eyes again. He had been so close.

"Who are you?" Ford asked.

The two looked at each other, and slowly the girl lowered her bow.

"I am Renn, of the Raven Clan." She began carefully. This is Torak, formerly of the Wolf Clan, but now he is of all clans." Torak nodded.

"He's a spirit walker," Renn said before Torak could stop her.

"I thought that was _his_ job," Ford said, pointing at Aang.

"No, I'm the Avatar," He corrected. "A spirit _bridge_. I've never heard of a spirit walker before. What's that?"

"My name-soul and my clan-soul can leave my body and inhabit another being, so that I can control it. My world-soul stays behind, though." He explained, guardedly. "I can also speak wolf."

"What's a wolf?" Aang asked cheerfully. Torak looked thoroughly shocked.

"It's a creature, like a dog, but bigger and smarter, and usually gray colored."

"Oh, like a dog-bear, but gray. Ok."

"No, a bear and a dog are two completely different-Nevermind," He gave up at a glance from Renn.

This whole time, Ford had been walking, and occasionally running, around, gazing in the distance and taking looks at a medium-sized tablet, while simultaneously hugging his towel. He then returned to the group, fixing an Electronic Thumb to his own.

"Listen everyone, I have important news. Important to our immediate safety and-"

"Who are _you _now," Arthur interrupted. He was speaking to a diminutive, apparently female, humanoid creature in full body armor and wielding a large gun who had appeared out of nowhere. She lifted a visor on her helmet.

"I am Holly Short. Lower Elements Police. I've been watching you guys, shielded, and I've decided that it's safe to reveal myself. I don't know how we got here, and I would really like to. But first, does anyone know where we are?"

"I was getting to that," Ford said impatiently. "We are on Striterax. Home of the _Silastic Armorfiends of Striterax._ And that it just the name of their people. You really don't want to know the name of their army."

"What's so important about them?" Renn asked inquisitively.

"They are the greatest warriors in the entire known universe. And they are always willing to kill something, viciously. They have never lost a war that they have started."

"What about wars that they haven't started?" Holly asked hopefully. Ford laughed outright.

"No race would be foolish enough to start a fight with a Silastic Armorfiend. That would be suicide. I suggest we find a passing spaceship, and then hitch a ride out of here. Preferably in the next few moments."

"What does a Silastic Whatever look like, anyway?" Holly asked.

"Well I don't exactly remember, but I imagine something big and horrible."

"Like that?" Holly asked, pointing behind Ford, who turned around, which is almost impossible not to do if someone points behind you. The figure standing behind Ford was about nine feet tall, with a shell of very strange and almost unnecessarily brutal-looking armor. It had little beady eyes, four of them, at the top of its head. It was carrying a large and vicious spear that had three large and vicious points.

"I'll hold him off," Aang yelled. "You guys run!"

"Good idea," Ford said, taking off. Arthur ran to catch up to him.

"Ford!" He said, attempting the impossible, i.e., to shame Ford Prefect. "He's a child! That thing will tear him to bits if we don't do anything! Can't you see that no one else is running?" It was true. Torak, Renn, and Holly had all stayed behind to fight the Silastic Armorfiend, and were pointing their respective weapons at it.

"Haven't you got anything in that bag of yours?" Arthur asked Ford hurriedly. The latter searched his bag and found that, along with Arthur, fate in its eternal wisdom and foresight had decided to grant him a Kill-O-Zap gun, presumably to use one on the other.

He reluctantly took it out and hefted it, pointing it in the direction of the Armorfiend.

"Check your own bag," Ford said unexpectedly. "Maybe you've got something too."

"All I've got is the last bottle of olive oil in the Universe, my towel, and a bottle of retsina. Oh wait, scratch that, we had to give up the retsina at that blasted flying party. Oh come on," He sighed. "Let's go help the strange child."

The strange child, at this point, had braced himself for an assault, in a martial arts stance. Renn had an arrow notched at the Armorfiend, (Fat lot that'll do, Ford thought) and the boy Torak was wielding an axe in one hand, and fingering a black root in the other. At a glance from Renn, however, he put the root away. Holly had her own gun, a clear plastic type deal that on the whole resembled a children's toy more than a lethal firearm.

The Armorfiend was standing still, a few yards away from Aang, waiting for one of his opponents to make the first move. His opponents were waiting for the same thing.

Ford thought, blast this whole standoff thing, literally, and fired three quick shots at the Armorfiend. Each one missed. However, the noise was loud and sudden enough to startle Arthur, causing him to trip.

Midway threw his fall, he caught a glimpse of Aang making some rocks rise out of the ground, and fly through the air and hit the Armorfiend. Arthur was so shocked he completely forgot about hitting the ground, and thus missed it. Like the rocks, he was now floating steadily.

It had been a while since he had flown, and he had to get used to it all over again. He exalted in his weightlessness. He swooped, he flew to inspiring heights and dove, pulling up at the last second. He flew around, oblivious to all that was around him. He swooped again, for the sheer hell of it. A rock hit him rather forcibly in the side, for the sheer hell of it.

"Sorry!" Aang yelled to Arthur's limp form. "My bad!" He switched from bending the earth to bending the air, throwing hurricane-force winds at the Armorfiend, who managed to hold its ground. Renn and Torak were shooting arrows at the beast, while Holly shot at it with her gun. Nothing seemed to have much effect. There was only one man left who could attempt to make a difference, and whether he would do so or not remained to be seen.

Many people have tried to pin Ford Prefect down as a coward in the face of personal danger. The truth was, Ford Prefect was the kind of man who rarely appreciated being pinned down to any one stereotype of his personality, unless that stereotype happened to describe him as one who rarely appreciates being pinned down to any one stereotype of his personality. Ford Prefect imagined himself a mind-bending individual, just when he seemed inclined to do one thing, he did the complete opposite. You could never quite tell what was about to happen next when it came to Ford.

At that moment, stranded on a strange planet with five other people, a gigantic monster-like individual attacking, those who knew him would have (second) guessed that Ford would charge right towards the Armorfiend, and would have been shocked to find out that they were absolutely right.

A manic fire gripped Ford, and adrenaline began coursing through his veins. History doesn't quite remember what caused this. Perhaps he genuinely wanted to be a hero. Perhaps he wanted to redefine his image. Perhaps seeing such young people in danger awoke a paternal sense within him, although this has been agreed as the least likely possibility.

Whatever the reason, history remembers Ford Prefect's charge as heroic, selfless, rather unlike him, and most of all, short-lived.


End file.
